I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
