i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
