I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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