I'm going to jail i love you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
