Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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