I hate your face
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
