You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
