Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
