it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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