none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
