Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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