you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
