Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
