You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
