I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
