i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
