So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
