i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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