I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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