I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
