Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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