I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
