No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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