I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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