Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize