Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
