I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
two words: eviction party
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
