When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
