Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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