i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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