the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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