I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
