Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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