Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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