areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize