Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
