And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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