her vagine was all disorganized.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm at about main and main street
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
