I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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