Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
