a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
