I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
