That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i believe in u and ur pee
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