You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
