I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I need water and some morals
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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