i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
