apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
