Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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