i wish there were pregnant emoticons
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
