What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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