chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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