Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
