There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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