did you get engaged???
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
