I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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