Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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