I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
