I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
