I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Randomize
